Do you really want your ex boyfriend/girlfriend back? Before you start working on making that happen, you should be sure you actually want it. If you’ve been through a bad break up, it is possible that you’re not thinking rationally. How would life be without your lover? Take some time out and think about that. Try thinking with your mind and not your heart. Do you truly think your life will be incomplete without your ex? Or will you be better off instead?

If your reflection time says that you should still get back together with your ex, these strategies can help:

Do not chase or pester your ex. Sending message after message will get you nowhere and is only counterproductive. Nor will giving your ex boyfriend/girlfriend gifts. Such behavior will only annoy your ex boyfriend/girlfriend, and make you appear desperate or even pitiful. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and being away from your ex boyfriend/girlfriend for a while is actually one of the best ways to get him/her back.

Build up your self-esteem in the mean time. Find value in yourself with whatever it takes. Many people let themselves go after a break up. Your lover should be impressed the next time he or she sees you, so don't make this mistake.

Don’t let your ex boy/girlfriend know that you have been moping. Set your Myspace and Facebook status to something positive. Try to joke around or be positive around your mutual friends so that if your ex boyfriend/girlfriend asks about you, they'll find out that you've been doing fine. If your lover thinks you're happy, then questions about whether the split was bad will linger. Even if the break up was bad and does bother you, try to keep that to only close, trusted friends.

Try to be the person she/he fell in love with to start with. There must be a reason your ex boy/girlfriend was attracted to you. Bring back the qualities that made you attractive to your ex.

Invite your lover to a casual get-together, preferably involving mutual friends. Avoid the "date" feeling by bringing mutual friends along. Do not be needy towards your lover or overly-attentive. Be yourself and pay an equal amount of attention to everyone there. Above all, try to make your ex boyfriend/girlfriend comfortable.

Measure how often you contact your regular friends and try to contact your ex boy/girlfriend less often. Sending a "how are you?" or "just wanted to say hi" message is fine. This will bring your ex boyfriend/girlfriend into a conversation without seeming pushy.

Don't make it obvious that you're trying to win your lover back – be subtle. There are different ways to get your ex boy/girlfriend back, and no matter which techniques you try, you need to use subtlety. Don't appear to be just trying to get your ex boyfriend/girlfriend's attention.

Don't get involved in a new relationship of your ex's, if s/he has one, especially by allowing you to be the object of his/her cheating. Don't get together with your ex boyfriend/girlfriend at all unless the new fling is out of the picture entirely. If he/she flat out cheats with you without first breaking it off with the other person, everyone will suffer the consequences. Do you really want someone who is capable of cheating and lying?

Follow these strategies if you really want the magic of making up. Even if it does not work out, at least you have more confidence in yourself. Right?

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